Avengers Play Video Games: Skyrim
by Silmarilz1701
Summary: A fun afternoon of Skyrim turns into a Stormcloak vs Imperial debate, and we find out why arrow in the knee jokes are forever banned from Avengers Tower. 117 Universe


Clint was furious, exasperated, and overall just miffed at Tony Stark for many reasons. It wasn't that unusual of a feeling, if he was honest with himself. But today, he was upset for a very specific reason.

"What do you mean you support the Stormcloaks?!"

Tony shrugged as he held the controller in his hand for the Xbox 360. He pointed at the screen where Skyrim was playing. The snowy, stone cold city that was showing looked quite uncomfortable.

"They're a bunch of racist bastards," Clint continued ranting as Tony remained silent. "How dare you side with them!"

"What's going on?" Wanda asked as she and Vision entered the lounge. "Why are you shouting, Clint?"

Clint whipped around to face the newcomers. "Tony's a Stormcloak sympathizer. Playing on _my_ Xbox."

Wanda shrugged. "So am I."

Tony smirked and laughed as he continued walking through the city of Windhelm. "See, Clint, even Wanda supports the Stormcloaks."

Clint glared at the man before finally allowing himself to sit in an arm chair while Wanda sat next to Tony on the couch. He muttered to himself all sorts of expletives and curses.

The archer huffed. "Have you played the main quest to the point where you read the Thalmor dossier on Ulfric? He's actually a Thalmor asset. They said so themselves."

Tony laughed again. "No way. He hates them!"

Clint jumped up and wrestled the controller from Tony. In the process it zoomed out and showed Tony's character.

"Of course you're playing a _Nord_." Clint rolled his eyes. "Typical build. Nothing creative there."

"We aren't all _creative_ and _dedicated_ gamers like _you_ Clint," Tony said sarcastically as he lost the battle over the controller.

Clint saved Tony's game and went back to the main screen where he pulled up his character.

"I prefer to go Breton archer. Gives good magic resistance and there's really no penalty to archery early on. Plus Dragonskin is an incredible power for fighting dragons." Clint flicked the controller and pressed several buttons.

"Of course you go archer," Tony muttered quietly with a snicker.

"Logical," Vision agreed, speaking up for the first time. "These games, they confuse me. Why do you three find them fun?"

Clint laughed but Wanda answered for him. "I like playing a dark elf mage, Viz. It's fun to pretend to be yourself which I can do since they have chaos magic in the game. But they call it Illusion."

"Here." Clint looked through his inventory and found the Thalmor dossier on Ulfric Stormcloak. "Read it yourself."

 _Status: Asset (uncooperative), Dormant, Emissary Level Approval_

 _Description: Jarl of Windhelm, leader of Stormcloak rebellion, Imperial Legion veteran_

 _Background: Ulfric first came to our attention during the First War Against the Empire, when he was taken as a prisoner of war during the campaign for the White-Gold Tower. Under interrogation, we learned of his potential value (son of the Jarl of Windhelm) and he was assigned as an asset to the interrogator, who is now First Emissary Elenwen. He was made to believe information obtained during his interrogation was crucial in the capture of the Imperial City (the city had in fact fallen before he had broken), and then allowed to escape. After the war, contact was established and he has proven his worth as an so-called Markarth Incident was particularly valuable from the point of view of our strategic goals in Skyrim, although it resulted in Ulfric becoming generally uncooperative to direct contact._

 _Operational Notes: Direct contact remains a possibility (under extreme circumstances), but in general the asset should be considered dormant. As long as the civil war proceeds in its current indecisive fashion, we should remain hands-off. The incident at Helgen is an example where an exception had to be made - obviously Ulfric's death would have dramatically increased the chance of an Imperial victory and thus harmed our overall position in Skyrim. (NOTE: The coincidental intervention of the dragon at Helgen is still under scrutiny. The obvious conclusion is that whoever is behind the dragons also has an interest in the continuation of the war, but we should not assume therefore that their goals align with our own.) A Stormcloak victory is also to be avoided, however, so even indirect aid to the Stormcloaks must be carefully managed._

Tony and Wanda stared, open mouthed, at the dossier on screen. Clint sat by smirking. Vision was entirely confused.

"What is the Civil War in this context?" Vision asked.

Clint tore himself from the screen to explain it. "A treaty was signed, in game, between the Cyrodilic Empire and the Thalmor to end the war. It was called the White-Gold Concordat. It outlawed worship of a god, Talos."

"The Nords didn't like that," Tony added.

Clint agreed. "This is true. But they were part of the Empire. They had to obey it. And everything was going fine. They weren't able to worship out in public, but everyone had personal shrines. That is until Ulfric started an uprising."

"It's not fair to force people to not worship their god," Wanda objected, pointing out the obvious.

Clint sighed. "This is true, but the Empire was doing their best to rebuild their army to fight the Thalmor again and break the Concordat. If Skyrim hadn't started infighting, they could've helped the Empire. And the Empire wouldn't have had to expend resources to put down the rebellion."

Vision agreed with him. "For the good of the whole, the rebels must stop. Then they could all fight these… Thalmor… as one."

"Besides," Clint continued. "The Stormcloaks are racists. "Skyrim for the Nords!" and all that. They persecute anyone who isn't like them."

"But it isn't right to force beliefs on anyone," Wanda argued with him. "That just isn't right."

"But Wanda, for the good of-"

"Be quiet, Viz." Wanda barked at him, her eyes getting steadily redder as she grew angrier. "You're wrong."

Vision looked at her in surprise but shut up. Tony laughed a little.

"Wanda," Clint sighed. "They were fine, and it was only going to be a couple more years before the Empire could have taken the fight back to the Thalmor!"

Tony stopped laughing when he saw the TV was starting to float, along with the pillows and remotes.

"Calm down, Wanda," Vision murmured. "Control yourself."

She realized what was happening and set everything back down.

"Fine." She snorted. "We agree to disagree."

Clint nodded. "Plus, you never played Oblivion. It's impossible to want to destroy the empire after you saved it in that game."

"Afraid to take an arrow in the knee?" Tony laughed.

Clint froze and immediately stood. Tony shut up.

Wanda shook her head. "Tony..."

For that reason, arrow in the knee jokes are forever band from Avengers Tower. Tony came out of the altercation with a black eye and several bruises. Clint was unscathed.


End file.
